Unexpected Naked Jack
by Madame Seabush
Summary: The biggest oxymoron known to the internet. When is naked Jack ever unexpected? Drabble.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes**: _Moar_ drabble! Getting sick of it yet? This is a play off the internet meme, 'Unexpected Naked Jack'. I've labeled this fic as 'in progress' because I plan to keep adding scenarios as they occur to me, it won't exactly be a rapid thing (as I'm easily distracted), but I have a few others in mind. Oh, don't act so surprised, you know he fought hard(lolol) for the Doctors affections off screen.

* * *

The Doctor walked into the kitchen with an air of indifference, passing a naked Jack perched on the kitchen counter, to cross to the fridge. After collecting the ingredients necessary to make himself lunch, he passed Jack again to find an unoccupied space to prepare it.

Only a few moments passed before an impatient Jack cleared his throat in an effort to gain his attention, shifting his hips in order to better exhibit what he had to offer.

The Doctor seemed to be already very much aware of him, showing no outwards signs of surprise when another presence was brought to his attention. He sighed.

"Yes Jack, you're naked." The Doctor deadpanned, akin to an exhausted parent humoring their child, of which had been bringing the same toy to their attention for the better part of a week. In fact, he was almost certain that a child would be less persistent than Jack was. Probably would have given up trying to get him to 'play' days ago.

Jack, unaffected by the others lack of enthusiasm, grinned vivaciously, proudly displaying his manhood. "You see anything you like?" he asked suggestively, winking in the Doctor's direction.

Pausing only momentarily, the Doctor's gaze flickered upward, his disinterested expression unwavering as he took in the sight in front of him. Yeah, he was going to have to clean that countertop later. He gave Jack a moment before returning his attention to his food, "I don't know. I was sort of liking this sandwich until you brought little Jack to my attention."

Jack's face fell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes**: Moar 4U. I couldn't resist.  
**Acknowledgments**: Casey for her superior punctuation editing skills.

* * *

Jack walked into the console room with an unmistakable air of confidence. The Doctor was only aware of the reason behind this when he looked up to see Jack in comfortable casual.

He knew that it would be easier to ignore such behaviour, in a hope that he would lose interest, but after being proven time and time again that this was not the case, he had lost hope in seeing Jack fully clothed in the future.

And foolishly, he chose to bite. "Jack."

"Yes, Doctor?" Jack smirked knowingly, his hands at his hips, bringing attention to his assets. Truth was, he had even gone to the trouble to choose a shirt to accentuate his area.

The Doctor exhaled. "Where are your pants?" he asked resignedly.

"I'm not wearing any." Jack revealed with a grin.

The Time Lord couldn't say he was surprised. "I can see that," he noted before returning his attentions to the console.

It was only when his initial plan seemed to be failing that Jack resorted to plan B, a cleverly devised extension to plan A, with the success rate increased by 25%.

Jack produced a pen from his shirt pocket, gently rolling it between his fingers.

The obscure display once again captured the Doctor's attention and Jack found him looking up from the controls with an otherwise blank expression.

It only encouraged him as he played on the Doctor's 'anticipation' before 'dropping it'.

"Oh," he began with mock surprise, "how awkward." He almost chuckled, mirth shining in blue eyes as he grinned broadly. He noticed the Doctor struggle with his natural desire to help, his muscles tensing as he stood at a standstill.

No matter what, the Doctor could always trust Jack to pull a reverse soap stunt. If prison was ever an option for him, he could guarantee that those around him would be terrified of his sexual prowess and the usual offenders would be confused at his willingness.

As the silence extended, he became aware of what Jack was hoping for and wordlessly raised his brow, a flicker of alarm in his gaze. "Jack, I'm not—"

Jack was in no way discouraged, but stopped the Doctor short. "No?" he questioned playfully before continuing "…I guess I'll have to then." He smirked, bending over to retrieve the pen with an exaggerated leisure.

"I better not catch you looking," Jack announced, taking a sizable pause in the pen's retrieval.

The Doctor looked away pensively, pursing his lips as he chose the most appropriate route around and away from him, creating a substantial distance between himself and Jack as he returned to the depths of the TARDIS.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Another random chapter/drabble/installment for a series I hope never ends, because it's just too fun. Hopefully, this should hold you over until I get inspiration for the next one.

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* * *

Jack had been working the Doctor to the best of his abilities, but he figured that if he was going to get anywhere, he was going to have to take it to the next level. It was one thing to look, but it was quite another to _touch_. Since he was getting neither, he figured that he still had quite a lot of work to do.

After spending the better half of an hour parading about in his birthday suit, he decided it was gift time and the Doctor was the only one invited to _this_ party. The Doctor just need a little bit of encouragement and he had all the time in the world.

"At least _look,_" Jack encouraged after following the Doctor into a small room. The good thing about this room was that in order for the Doctor to get out, he would have to get passed _him_…

And he was naked.

Needless to say, he was feeling fairly optimistic.

The Doctor sighed as he looked down and though Jack possessed a considerably healthy specimen of manhood, the Doctor's blasé expression remained.

"I'm looking," he informed him uninterestedly. As far as a human's penis went, it was impressive, but it was nothing in comparison to what he had seen and gotten used to during his time with the Master.

Jack decided to push his luck, ever so slightly inching his hips forward in invitation. "Just a little feel?" he asked, allowing his hands to roam, entice, and sell the product he was advertising.

The Doctor scowled and looked back up to address Jack sincerely. "I'm not _feeling_ anything" he insisted. "You asked me to look and yes! It's lovely. But beyond that, I'm just not interested, Jack." He spoke in all earnest and yet his protests fell on deaf ears. In Jack's world, no meant yes and yes meant yes, so there was really no way of escaping him.

"Lovely?" Jack took out the only positive part of the Doctor's response and used it to his advantage.

The Doctor expected no less but scolded himself for being so careless. You just didn't go around calling Jack's _anything_ lovely, as it constituted as a flirtatious advance.

"You won't regret it," Jack promised with a sultry smirk, and for no moment was he discouraged by the silent contemplation on the Time Lord's face.

Truth was, the Doctor was weighing up his options, wondering if it would hold him over until their next destination. Maybe if he gave a little Jack wouldn't feel like he needed to work so hard. This lapse in judgment had his hand extended.

Jack was shamelessly excited when the Doctor extended his hand out for him to take, and he wasted no time in seizing his hand and guiding it skillfully to his crotch with startling precision. His grin widened.

The Doctor idly wondered how he had gotten himself into this mess as he felt his shaft only where he was guided to touch, and he was struck by the familiarity of having to move his hand in an upward motion.

"You have an erection," he commented matter-of-factly, with no inflection of tone or indication of interest.

"He _likes_ you," Jack emphasized. There was no way he was stopping there. The Doctors resolve was crumbling, his defenses were down and he would be a fool to let an opportunity like this get away.

With mild annoyance and disapproval at Jacks personification of his sexual organs, the Doctor's gaze flickered upward.

"It's a purely physiological response to a combination of physical and mental stimulus," he explained, and wondered if all authority in his words had been lost due to the location of his hand.

It had.

The Doctor knew for a fact that Jack couldn't possibly be listening and he sighed as Jacks enthusiasm was demonstrated by his grabbing for his other hand.

Jack winked.


End file.
